and yet another poem for Arrin's son ...
Snuffed
I don’t keep a candle
in
the window for you anymore.
I snuffed them & in fact
keep
the window dark
So I can see out it
scan
the perimeter
in case you start a sortie
an
incursion.
I won’t be caught unprepared
this
time;
you have taken the mask off
too
many times for me to forget;
Your smile is a mask you wear
misleading,
disarming. Dangerous
as holding a hand
right
above a flame;
flesh gets burnt, gets scarred
at
any close proximity.
What was harder was snuffing out
my
heart and bias for you,
reminding myself true family is
a
way people treat each other;
Love is an active verb
and
burns truer than any words.
So for you – my heart is covered.
you
have taught that to me –
your proxy mother that scattered
candles
throughout our home,
the one who kept a room for you
no
matter how far or long you roamed -
but then, I did not realize
you’ll
bring the violence home.
I didn’t realize you burned with
it,
that
it lived beneath the mask.
Ariel
Nov
5, 2012