Joshua

Joshua

 

Put flesh on these bones;
Give me back my tongue, my voice.
Stop demanding silence and the end to tears.
 
I used to think there could be no pain as sharp
As losing a child,
Not having a child,
Letting go a child -
‘tis true.

Letting go of one and holding the other

So both are not lost.
How can I not blame myself,
Cannot blame naivety ?
I knew what broken was.
I thought of how wolves take in young,
Give them the warmth of fur and milk -
What did I know?

I thought you flesh of my flesh.

I treated you as flesh of my flesh.
I thought of you as flesh of my flesh
‘Tis true
And now I must save flesh of my flesh from you
 
I blame myself
There was something as a young mother I missed
Some golden key you thought silver or bronze.
You were only nine; I thought still mutable,
Still able to learn, to be given the deficit;
Your mother was wrong, I thought I knew better.
I thought I could save you – I knew how it felt -
a shadow of a boy wanting to be a Pan.
Perhaps someone better could have;
Perhaps someone not living as a shadow themself.

I never had the right thread.

I used to think there could be no pain as sharp

As losing a child,
Not having a child,
Letting go a child.
‘Tis true.
 
Even alive, I still lost you.
“Flesh of my flesh”,
You’ve cut me deep to the bone.
 

Ariel

Nov 25, 2012