Snuffed

and yet another poem for Arrin's son ...

Snuffed

I don’t keep a candle

            in the window for you anymore.

I snuffed them & in fact

            keep the window dark 

So I can see out it

            scan the perimeter

in case you start a sortie

            an incursion.

I won’t be caught unprepared

            this time;

you have taken the mask off

            too many times for me to forget;

Your smile is a mask you wear

            misleading, disarming. Dangerous

as holding a hand

            right above a flame;

flesh gets burnt, gets scarred

            at any close proximity. 

What was harder was snuffing out

            my heart and bias for you,

reminding myself true family is

            a way people treat each other;

Love is an active verb

            and burns truer than any words.

So for you – my heart is covered.

            you have taught that to me –

your proxy mother that scattered

            candles throughout our home,

the one who kept a room for you

            no matter how far or long you roamed -

but then, I did not realize

            you’ll bring the violence home.

I didn’t realize you burned with it,

            that it lived beneath the mask. 

 

Ariel

Nov 5, 2012